Month: February 2018

March Tending List: Cultivating What Matters in 2018

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February flewwww by! Theo’s birthday was the day after Superbowl Sunday, then we had Valentine’s Day (he planned the cutest surprise, all the heart eyes), we found out Baby is A GIRL, and then it was time to make my March tending list! February was a delightful month full of joy, but if I just looked at my tending list for the month it looks like the month was a complete loss. I ate a ton of fast food, wasn’t faithful in studying the Bible, didn’t launch my blog, and never followed a meal plan. But it’s okay! March is a new month to get back on my goals, and I can leave February thinking of all the fun celebrating we did instead of lamenting the tasks that didn’t get done.

 

I found my encouraging words for March this morning during my Bible reading–“Return to your rest my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” Psalm 116:7. Going back to my word for the year, I find my roots in the Word of God, and rest pours out of that. Real soulful rest does not come from Netflix, scrolling through Insta, or eating half a bag of Starburst jelly beans while watching Netflix and catching up on Instagram….not that I have done that recently!

Monthly Goals:

Study Philippians: March is going to find me studying Philippians by using the Risen Motherhood study sheets as well as my Write the Word journal. This is essential to making progress in my #1 goal of becoming a woman who is rooted in the Word of God.

Hang spice rack, calendar, redo kitchen: Very straightforward. A few tasks that would really help with the organization of our home but that keep not getting done.

Have family over for dinner/have friends over: Another item to help with my goal of maintaining a lifegiving home. Being hospitable is an easy way to grow our relationships, and has the bonus of forcing er..inspiring us to get the house nice and shiny for company

Follow meal plan all month: I’m going to do a monthly meal plan again this month. It was so effective in January at helping us eat at home and reduce costs/waste. This month I want to incorporate more healthful meals, specifically some healthy rice bowls.

Get our taxes done: I still need to track down one W2 from last year, and then we need to file as a married couple for the first time! Yay!

Make blog public: Not sure how I’m going to do this exactly yet but it’s almost ready! Sub goal is to get set up with Amazon Affiliates.

Read two books: In January I did really well at reading one book a week, but I don’t think that’s sustainable for me. So I’ll aim for two this month 🙂

 

Weekly Goals:

Use my RM sheets to study Philippians: I’m aiming to do this twice a week. Ideally I would do this daily, but I need to start with small manageable goals and work my way up.

Write the Word journal: I actually chose Philippians to study this month because of how many passages there are in my Write the Word journal. I got this journal two Christmases ago and while I do like it, I have never been consistent in using it. I think this will be a good supplement to my study sheets.

Two blog posts: I’d like to write and post two complete blog posts a week. I know I can definitely write two, but compiling good photos and doing a final edit are things I tend to procrastinate on.

Go to church: Consistently attending a church has been a struggle. There’s a lot of excuses as to why we haven’t been consistent, which mostly center on pregnancy exhaustion and conflicting work schedules. But we love our church and want to get rooted in the community, and to do that we kinda need to be there.

 

Daily Goals:

Get in the Word: again, my most important goal. Even if I’m not studying or writing I still want to be reading daily.

Tidy for 10 in 2: This is something I used to do last year. Basically I set a timer for ten minutes and tidy one room for just ten minutes. Sometimes I’ll feel more motivated and keep going, but even if I don’t ten minutes is enough to at least get clothes put away, a few dishes loaded, counters wiped, etc. I STRUGGLE with keeping a clean house and it can get really discouraging so I’m just trying to improve every month (and am totally open and would LOVE suggestions).

Breakfast from home: ie not breakfast from Chick fil A, McDonalds, or Bojangles. Obviously fast food is a big weakness of mine and all those breakfasts and lunches add up. I’m going to make  frozen breakfast burritos again as well as give overnight oats a chance.

So that’s it for March!

Should You Order a Wedding Dress from China?

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Ordering a Wedding Dress from China--Is it a Risk You Should Take?

This post contains affiliate links. You can view my very dull disclosure policy here!

One of the most cost effective strategies I used when getting married was to order my wedding dress directly from China, through Amazon. It saved me hundreds of dollars and was the only way I was able to afford the style of dress I wanted. Honestly I had no idea that Amazon even sold wedding dresses until a friend sent me a Buzzfeed article a few weeks before I got engaged. I was fascinated by these dresses that were selling for as low as $30! I decided to give it a try, and I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a beautiful budget dress. 

If you’re going this route, you should be aware of a few things. Firstly, I would be really cautious with what website you order from. I can only personally recommend Amazon. I have read stories of shops mysteriously closing and people never receiving their orders. With Amazon I could be confident that I didn’t have to worry about that. Secondly, the best dresses I have seen from China are on the simple side. Not a ton of beading, flowers, layers, types of fabric/lace, etc. Thirdly, these dresses are technically knockoffs of designer dresses. Any photos you see on the listing that look like they are from BRIDE or Vogue Bridal are not going to be what your dress looks like. For mine, there were several reviewers who had posted their dress and the photos from their weddings so I was able to see what the real-life dress looked like. If you are aware of these things and have appropriate expectations your chances of being satisfied with your dress are a lot higher!

This is the dress I ordered. I was highly satisfied with my dress! Maybe I’m in severe denial and it looks like an $100 dress, but I am still ridiculously happy with it so don’t burst my bubble 🙂 I personally wanted a non-strapless, off white or champagne color, slight train, with lots of lace and was fortunate to find exactly what I wanted.

 

Below is a pic of the dress when I first pulled it out of the package. It came in a slightly nicer version of a manila envelope. They fold it up and cram it in, so I expected it to look accordingly. That being considered, it was in good condition. It needed to be steamed but amazingly there weren’t any severe wrinkles. 

For the record, I had zero intention of this photo being public

I had read some reviews that suggested ordering a length longer because they have a tendency to come short. Because I am a tall and large person, I ordered the entire dress a size and length bigger than the guide recommended. My reasoning was that it is a whole lot easier to alter a dress smaller than it is to make it bigger. If you are a normal to average-sized human this is probably not necessary, but if you’re at all concerned, go bigger!

Unlike when you buy a dress in person, these dresses do not come with any sort of cute carrier. I would strongly recommend ordering a garment bag at the same time that you order your dress. I waited, and I had no way to safely store my dress or bring it to fittings until my bag arrived. 

 

There is a high probability that you will need alterations, even if you send perfect measurements with your order. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t gotten alterations done on their wedding dress, whether they got it from a designer shop, David’s Bridal, or online. Thankfully, I had a wonderful friend who was formerly a professional seamstress. She kindly did the few alterations I needed. However, I stupidly wore a different bra to the fittings then I was planning to wear on my wedding day. When I tried my dress on the night before the wedding, I started freaking out. It ended up working out just fine, but make sure you wear the same undergarments that you’re planning on wearing!! I had definitely read that sentiment but completely forgot. Oh, and obviously, wear the heel height that you’re intending to wear on your wedding day. I wore flats so it didn’t matter but if you’re not wearing flats prepare accordingly.

One issue I did run into was finding a veil that matched properly. I went back and forth on whether I actually wanted a veil, but as the day drew closer I decided it would complete the look. Within my budget and time frame there were zero options for a coordinating champagne veil. Literally two weeks before the wedding my mom volunteered to make me a veil. But then we had to find fabric! We went to the garment district in LA and numerous fabric stores before we were able to find the right fabric at the right price. She sewed it in just a few days, and it was perfect. I don’t plan to keep my dress forever, but I will definitely be keeping the veil. It’s an heirloom to me.

 

I’d love to hear about your experience finding your dress!

Professional photos courtesy of Anna Clark. She is based in the Southern/Central California area and is delightful to work with! 

 

The First 7 Steps to a Budget Wedding

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I love thinking about our wedding and looking at our photos. We got married about nine months ago, after a brief three month engagement. It was a fun, beautiful, special, joy-filled day. It also went by SO fast, was extremely stressful leading up to it, and I would NEVER want to do it again. Never. Ever. While I love weddings, and wedding dresses, and food, and parties, and looking at Pinterest boards– I am not a detail girl. At all. Like a dutiful millennial, I had a secret wedding board that I started around the time I met my husband. It was filled with hundreds of stunning pictures, but contained little actually useful information. What I really needed was a focused vision and an outline of steps to get started planning a budget wedding. 

In high school, I loved the Disney wedding dress collection (and also wanted to get married at Disneyland of course) and loved the idea of a giant, formal, fancy wedding. I still love that concept, to attend as a guest! (Especially if you’re getting married at Disneyland, please invite me and let me cross an item off my bucket list). For us, we had two primary considerations to keep in mind. A. We were on a serious budget, and B. we wanted a small wedding with the people who truly mattered most to us in attendance. It took a lot of work to pull off a wedding in just a few months, and requires a high level of organization.

Personally, I found that a lot of the wedding resources presume that you have a much longer amount of time to plan than just three months. The shorter your engagement, the more on top of things you need to be. This was difficult for me because I’m a professional procrastinator, but it also helped because I had to be on top of things. So here’s my list of the first steps to take when planning a budget wedding in less than three months: 

planning a wedding on a budget

  1. Narrow down your guest list. Realistically, the more people you have in attendance the higher your costs are going to be. Or you’re going to have to simplify other aspects, like doing drinks and hors d’ oeuvres . You just really can’t feed 300 people dinner on a small budget (or maybe you can! Let me know). Of course, determining your guest list is easier said than done, especially if you have large families and lot’s of family friends. Thankfully it wasn’t too difficult for us to keep our guest list small. I think we invited about 75 people and around 50 ended up attending. It was the perfect number for us.
  2. Set a date. Our engagement was a little over three months long which was challenging, but it was a doable amount of time. We got married on a Friday night because we really wanted a specific date. Days other then Saturday are often recommended as cheaper since they are less popular, so you may want to keep that in mind.  The shorter your engagement, the more on top of things you need to be. Full disclosure: I procrastinated way too long on reserving our reception venue and by the time I tried to finalize things it was no longer available. This was disappointing, but it actually worked out really well because the original venue was outdoors on a rooftop and there ended up being crazy Santa Ana winds on our wedding night! It was a relief to be indoors and not have to worry about tablecloths and guests flying away. So keep in mind that any initial disappointments might actually be a blessing in disguise.
  3. Find a venue. Depending on your location, this can be the most challenging and expensive part. We were so blessed to have a simple chapel available to use for free. For our reception, we used a church banquet room that was not picturesque, but with some simple decorations it looked decent. If you want an indoor wedding, I highly recommend checking into your church’s options or other churches in your area. Actual wedding venues are typically expensive and often have restrictions on catering which can get costly. For outdoor weddings, look into public parks or nature reserves. Often they can be free or very inexpensive. 
  4. Identify what is most important to you. For me, I wanted excellent photography, a meaningful ceremony, and a full meal for everyone to enjoy. Reflecting this, the photographer and food were the two highest costs for our wedding. Of course, I also wanted a beautiful dress, cute & comfortable shoes, a happy bridal party, yummy dessert, and pretty flowers. But there was a lot more room for compromise in those areas then in the main things.
  5. This is the point in the list where I should probably say something about creating a budget. But honestly I never created a budget. Sure, I did some rough calculations a few times to make sure I could afford purchases, but I never had a solid budget. My parents gave me a figure for the things they were paying for which was very helpful. If anyone else is helping you pay for parts of your wedding, have a frank conversation as early on as possible to determine exact numbers. I definitely think having a budget is useful, but I can’t offer personal advice on how to do that. 
  6. Find your dress early. Before we got engaged, one of my bridesmaids sent me a Buzz Feed article of dresses that are available on Amazon. Before that I literally had no idea you could buy wedding dresses on Amazon! I started researching and found out that they were so cheap because they are made in and shipped directly from China. I decided it was worth risking $100 and ordered the dress a few days after we got engaged. It took about a month to get here, which was cutting it close, but it worked out! I wrote a whole post about my dress that you can find here.
  7. Determine your bride tribe and let them know what you’re working with. You’re going to be talking about the wedding a TON with these girls, and it’s helpful to have your expectations on the same page. It’s not going to be helpful if they’re sending you posts on bachelorette cruises and you’re thinking of a bachelorette hike. All of my bridesmaids were super helpful and supportive which made the process 100 x better.

weddings on a budget

I hope that these steps can be of some help to you as you plan your own wedding on a budget! While everyone has different circumstances and not everything I did is relevant to you, I hope that just one idea resonates and can help you as you plan. Above all, remember to fix your eyes upon what is most important.

five on friday

Five on Friday

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five on friday

  1. It’s Superbowl Sunday this weekend! Also known as the pre-This is Us show. I’m in the mood for buffalo chicken so I’m going to be making this buffalo chicken recipe and then using that to make this amazing sounding Buffalo Chicken Twist.
  2. I went to a yard sale today. Now, I’m a thrift store person. I hadn’t attended a yard sale since I was eight years old in San Diego where I purchased my first and last fur coat. But everyone in town was talking about this yard sale, so after I dropped my husband off I went to check it out. For four bucks I procured a Rachel Ray cookbook, a hardback Nicholas Sparks novel, and a nice long sweater. Recently I thrifted some bodycon maternity dresses and I have a rather large um… caboose, so I’m looking for sweaters and kimonos that can work through the rest of Winter and Spring.
  3. Currently reading Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. My favorite quote so far: “Talent is how quickly your skills improve when you invest effort. Achievement is what happens when you take your acquired skills and use them.” I’ll do a mini-review when I’m done.
  4. This week I started listening to The Influencer Podcast, specifically Episode 8 with Angela Lanter. I’m kinda new to podcasts but I was excited when I found this one because I recognized like three whole interviewees!
  5. Our pastor is preaching through the book of Jonah this month, so I’ve decided Jonah will be my book of study this month. I use the Abide method from Risen Motherhood as well as some of the techniques I learned from Jen Wilken in Women of the Word.

Have a great weekend! See y’all Tuesday for Tending List Tuesday.